Compilation of all the cutscenes I worked on Uncharted 4: A Thief's End
Whenever I mention landing my first job in Uncharted 4 straight out of college due to sheer luck, people often tell me I earned it through hard work and that I deserved it. Despite their well-meaning sentiments, I find it difficult to fully agree to their perspective.
I should emphasize that I am sincerely grateful for the opportunity. The experience gained from this first job in one of the best selling Playstation 4 games has been pivotal in shaping my career journey. It's served as a stepping stone, enabling me to secure subsequent projects and attracting attention from prestigious companies.
During my time at Sony San Diego, I was constantly feeling overwhelmed by the immense pressure to prove myself in the company. I was comparing myself to veterans with over a decade of experience, as well as to very talented colleagues who, like me, were fresh out of college. With every note and feedback I got every other frame, I couldn't shake the sense of unworthiness for the job, and I couldn't help but imagine the disappointment I believed the production managers must have felt.
After all these years, it's only now that I've come to realize I've been harshest on myself. I expected too much from myself even though it was my first job in the field! Now that I've matured since then (Well, have I though...), I want to acknowledge some significant accomplishments that I often overlook.
First and foremost, I've achieved true independence for the first time, living far away from my parents, earning my own paychecks, and have a place to live by paying my own bills.
I've built some solid connections along the way, some of which still keep in touch, and a few I even work with now. I've picked up some cool skills too, like getting the hang of motion capture and layering animations on top. My lead taught me how to play with override animation layers and layer weights to incorporate hand-key animations mid mocap data. Plus, I've learned facial retargeting using FACS. Handling nitpicky feedback and juggling my time efficiently are also skills I've gained from this project.
Lastly, I had the privilege of residing in sunny San Diego, a place that still holds a special spot in my heart as one of the most remarkable locations I've ever lived in.
To this day, I find myself still wrestling with self-doubt about my abilities. These nagging thoughts often overshadow my productivity or send me spiraling into overthinking. It's not the Uncharted 4 project that brought me to this point really —I believe any project could have had the same effect on me.
I convince myself that beating myself up is necessary for improvement and while there may be some truth to that, I also need to remember to chill down, take a breath, and recognize the positive aspects of my work. I'm writing this in 2024, still in the middle of my personal journey towards finding a healthy balance between self-criticism and self-appreciation, but I can feel progress happening with each passing day.
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